Well, well, well….
I always believed that every good comeback story deserved an equally good prologue. But does that prologue truly define the comeback?
In short – I had fallen out of love with writing. Call it the hustle-and-bustle of life, or my undiagnosed ADHD, I haven´t really felt that spark over the last couple of year.
However, getting back to this, and writing in general, has always flirted with my mind along the way. I can´t piece together yet what it was that kept holding me back, but my best guess is that my mind was just exhausted from handling the chaos in my life. Jumping from crisis to crisis kept my engine runnning and never credited me with downtime to let the creative juices flow.
Can I conclusively say that I´m now healed and out of this rut? Probably not. But I can say that I now have the impetus to start rediscovering things that once brought me joy – hopping online on a video game that I haven´t played in a while, shooting hoops alone in a solitary basketball court, hammering away at my keyboard in a coffee shop.
I will get to documenting my life now in a bit – the journey I´ve been on, the growth I´ve experienced, the progress I´ve made, the awareness that has dawned upon me, the gratitude for where I am, the appreciation for the fleeting moments, and so on.
But for now, I´m drunk with nostalgia and I don´t want to stop chugging at this intoxicating mead-of-the-past. Gazing upon this relic of a time that now seems rosy(whereas it was probably FAR from it), I have no doubt that my life right now is miles better than it was the last time I was dilligently churning out blog posts.
The more I recollect, the more the darkness dawns upon me. The bleak prospects, the haunting thoughts, the fear of the unknown, and the restlesness of uncertainty. The rose-tinted shades almost slip down off the tip of my nose and I see the carnage of what was. I have influences and influenceRs(the people around me, not the social media kind) who deserve the credit for me calling my life better. But now, a new exercise of mine is to take the time to reflect and give myself the pat-on-the-back I so dearly craved.
This was just a harmony of thoughts puked onto a page. But I guess I´ve got to start somewhere. Will this be a blip in the timeline? Or the match that lights the flame, acting as the harbinger of my path back to writing professionally and personally?
Only time will tell…
We Need To Talk 